Why can't we all just do what's best for our own family and respect that everyone has different needs? I've tried to be very careful when talking with friends about my choice to breastfeed and my choice to have Tommy go to daycare because I know that's exactly what they are - my personal choices. But I could be better. The blogosphere could be better. Everyone has different priorities and comfort zones, these mommy wars are insane and don't help anything.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Mommy Wars
A friend we met in birth class posted this on Facebook and I had to repost it. It's sad but true. Moms competing about working vs staying at home, breastfeeding vs formula feeding, disciplining vs not disciplining, bed sharing vs crib sleeping, and when their kids reach milestones. The division even starts in birthing class: natural vs epidural, vaginal birth vs c-section. It's just ridiculous.
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Goodness! This is crazy! I'm so glad I have supportive mom friends who aren't critical of my decisions. Certainly, many of my friends do things differently than I would or do, but that's totally okay. Their personalities and lives are different from mine, so their decisions are different. Yes, there are some decisions I disagree with, but I don't see how my disagreement makes much of a difference or helps them in their parenting. Parenting is challenging enough without having people criticize you instead of support you, especially when times are extra-challenging.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this. Being a parent is hard work and being judged by others just makes it harder.
ReplyDeleteI too sometimes just avoid/limit talking about some of this stuff with others so I don't have to worry about defending the choices that my husband and I make for our family.
Hope Tommy is doing well!
My favorite part is when the blonde said "The Internet told me" and "A baby seal just died"- and then when the other gal said, "Holy Sh*t."
ReplyDeleteThis is kinda depressing, actually. Are people really like this? I've heard the gals at work talking about the "wars" between working moms and stay-at-home moms, so much competition. Kinda sad.
I often wondered the same thing - I think women in general compete with one another about everything! I wish we could get to a point where we supported and lifted on another up, rather than competing.
ReplyDeleteouch! lol, I hope I don't sound like that ;)
ReplyDeleteSo sad that people do this... not just mommy wars, but neighbors... coworkers... it's everywhere. Why does everything have to be a competition??
ReplyDeleteYikes-ola. This is how it appears to be on most message boards I frequent. Competition is crazy nuts!
ReplyDeleteThis is both hilarious (Holy shit, do you know anything about disease?) and sad. Luckily I haven't run into any arressive opinions from anyone yet on my choices but I'm sure they're out there waiting for me. People need to mind their own biz. For reals.
ReplyDeleteI still think it's ridiculous that women are still accepting more than half of the responsibility of childcare and domestic responsibilities.
ReplyDeleteAny man who is not willing to contribute EQUALLY to a child and household is SEXIST. Period.
The mommy wars stems from some women being willing to accept evil, sexist, traditional gender roles and some choosing to be free of traditional roles.
In my relationships/marriage I do not accept this and would never consider marrying a man who felt that I should contribute more to child/family. To me - that is morally subversive.
I would never change my name for marriage, let my child have my husband's name, wear a veil at my wedding, be given away by father at my wedding or have a sexist/evil bridal/baby shower that only includes women (that presuposes house/child is more the woman's responsibility). Until we shed these relics of sexism it will be difficult to make the other necessary step - women need to stop letting their husbands careers take priority over their own and opting out of the workforce.
Had to link it back to my little place on the net. Its nuts. But the video is hilarious!
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