Life with Two

I've gotten lots of emails from people wondering how life with two is and if I like the exactly 2 years apart age gap...and my answer changes on a daily basis. But in general, we've settled into a routine (far from a schedule) and we're rolling with the punches, and most of the time it's absolutely wonderful, but it's hard work.  
From a marriage standpoint, two is trying. Mr. B and I had a really easy adjustment to life with Thomas - he was a super sleeper who went to bed every night at 6:30 without a fight. We had from 6:30 to 10 (because we're the oldest twenty somethings you know with our 10 o'clock bedtimes) every night to talk and spend time together. Nell? Not quite her brother in the sleep department. And as a result we've had to make time to talk and be together when the kids aren't around. That caught me off guard a bit - I think I expected the same amount of time together in the evenings as we had when Thomas was born. And as Nell gets better about bedtime, it's getting easier. But, I know that as the kids get older, this will happen on and off - we'll have chaotic years when we're shuffling from school to activity after activity and feel like we barely see each other. So knowing that, we've made a conscious effort to make time for each other and our marriage - even if it means later bedtimes and less sleep. Our marriage is the single most important aspect of making our family work, but it requires work to keep it healthy. We're far from perfect, but we work on it.
Kiddo wise, 6 weeks was a major break through for us in terms of things getting easier. The first six weeks were pure chaos and sleep deprivation, but at 6 weeks Nell started giving us longer stretches of sleep, she's a little bit better about falling asleep on her own, and the seemingly constant growth spurts started to spread out. 

How I found Thomas and Nell when I when I went to get them out of their carseats at the grocery store last week. Do I love this age gap? YES!
There are great things and tough things about the 2 year age gap. The great: Thomas adjusted really quickly to sharing the limelight - it was tough at first, but now he asks to "Go see Nellers" when he wakes up in the morning. He's constantly trying to get to her to give her hugs and kisses. And he loves to tell everyone who walks by us or through our door, "Dat's Nell." On the flip side, he's two. And we're fully entrenched in the "terrible (and sometimes tender) twos" - everything I've read says this hits closer to 2 1/2, but I'm just telling myself that because Thomas is so verbal, he's hitting 2 1/2 early. Don't burst my bubble by telling me that's not true, I like to live in delusion on this topic.  These would be tough days even if Nell weren't here yet, but it can be tricky juggling the needs of an infant with the needs of a toddler. I'm a firm believer in handling unacceptable behavior when it happens, and that means that nursing the babe gets interrupted to discipline "sad choices". And it gets interrupted when the two-year-old decides Nell's feeding time is the perfect opportunity to try jumping head first into the hardwood floor from the top of the couch. Oh, I've got anecdotes.
Yesterday, I took Thomas and Nell to the doctor for Nell's 2 month appointment. It felt like the ultimate test: A screaming 2 month old needing to be held tightly; a bored 2 year old (who happened to have a huge black eye and bump on his head...why do those always happen when you're going to the doctor?) in the throes of a very two-year-old period wanting attention and acting out by trying to hit me and throwing the books and toys I brought for him to play with to the ground; and a doctor asking me questions about Nell's last month and Thomas's bruise while simultaneously observing how I handle the chaos as I fill out the pediatrician's postpartum depression questionnaire. I never felt like I deserved a $1 large McDonald's Diet Coke more than when we walked out of that office. And you better believe I've already booked Mr. B's mom to babysit for T during Nell's 4 month appointment.
My mom called one night while Mr. B was at a board meeting, I was cooking dinner after having started back at work that day, Thomas was throwing a solid 2 year old tantrum and Nell was over her bouncy seat. Thomas was screaming, Nell was crying, and water was boiling over on the stove. I hung up - not having caught a word of my mom's phone call - and immediately thought of the Trace Adkins song "You're Gonna Miss This":
Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says they don't bother me
I've got 2 babies of my own
One's 36, one's 23
Huh, it's hard to believe

But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this.

Thank God for that song because instead of crying - which my heart contemplated - all I could do was laugh. Because as hectic and chaotic as life with two can be, the majority of it is heart-wrenchingly tender and sweet. And I already miss those first chaotic, insane six weeks.  This parenting thing is hard work and we have our moments, but I wouldn't trade even the toughest ones for anything in the world.
 

Mountain Getaway

We've had a bit of a hectic summer, schedule-wise.  Mr. B was a bit overextended activity wise with a summer class for his MBA, involvement on the Board of Directors for a local non-profit, two soccer seasons and some other extra curricular activities that are slipping my mind at the moment. Add to that Nell's arrival, and we were maxed out.  As a general rule, I really try to stay pretty upbeat about Mr. B's school schedule. And as a general rule, I really try to stay upbeat about the newborn-lack-of-sleep thing. And the parenting a toddler thing. We're lucky to be in the situation we are that Mr. B can further his education with a minimal out of pocket expense for us, and we're lucky to have two, healthy beautiful children. I will sleep again. Thomas will not throw two year told style tantrums forever. Mr. B will not be in school forever. But this summer, I had a few less than upbeat moments about what seemed like an endless supply of nights home alone with two kids (one of whom...cough, Nell, cough...prefers to sleep for her daddy) and very little time with my best friend and our little family.
So, with Mr. B's summer class finishing last week, we took the opportunity to steal away to my aunt's cabin in the mountains. And it was a perfect, much needed break from reality. My aunt stocked up on a ridiculously large bag of plain M&Ms, and I'm embarrassed to say I ate a good portion of it. We swam in the lake. We took Thomas out on the paddle boat. Casco got lots of walks and lots of swimming time. 

Nell didn't seem to fully appreciate the awesomeness of having a cabin on the lake to visit. But she napped like a champ and gave us her longest stretches at night yet, so we'll work on her appreciation of water and the Colorado mountains later.

Thomas, on the other hand, wastes no time getting into the lake. The first night we were there he went into his chest with his clothes on. He's my boy, that's for sure.

Casco's come a long way since we had to teach him how to swim.

My wonderful aunt who hosted us and snuggled Nell so that B and I could spend a little two on one time with our Tom throughout the weekend.

It's nice to sometimes have absolutely no outside commitments but adhering to baby and toddler sleep needs and breathing in some fresh mountain air. I wasted no time taking advantage of my six week post partum clearance to swim and exercise again and jumped in and swam across the lake and back before we left while Tom and Nell were napping -  it was the most free I've felt in the water since Thomas was born. In short, a perfect long weekend.

Monthly Baby Photos

I loved the monthly baby pictures I took of Thomas on a desk calendar every month for his first year of life. I specifically loved it because it chronicled his growth against a fixed object, and conveyed the passing of time. I racked my brain for months to come up with a new idea for Nell that would fit those same standards, and finally admitted defeat and told Mr. B that I needed help.  He said, "You want a fixed object that conveys the passing of time? Soooo...a clock? And that would be good because, like a calendar, a clock conveys time in increments of 12."

Really, every English major should marry an Engineer...it's good to have two outlooks on the world. I proofread his papers, he thinks of things like time being conveyed in increments of 12. We're a good team.

So, without further ado, Miss Nell's 1 month photo. I tried to get her arms to be be the clock arms, but Nell didn't think that sounded like fun and my camera shutter's not that fast. So her head will have to do.

And just for fun, I also put Nell on the calendar so that we could compare her month-by-month to her brother's. I think they look a lot alike.

It's funny comparing babies. Thomas's baby pictures look so much like my own (his blonde hair and blue eyes make him look a lot like both Mr. B's grandpa and my grandpa, too, but he and I have carbon copy faces). Then, Nell was born and my first thought was that she looked exactly like Thomas - but more like Mr. B than me. So maybe the answer is that our kids are just a good blend of both of us, and I think that sounds perfect. Especially if they get Mr. B's math brain.

4 Years

4 years ago today Mr. B and I became Mr. and Mrs. McKevitt. Promising this man forever was the best decision I've ever made. 

You're my perfect complement, Mr. B. I fall more in love with you everyday. We were babies when we said "I do" but there's no one I'd rather grow and learn with - as a couple and as an individual - than you. Navigating our life together is so much fun. I love you - and I can't wait for my first bite of sushi in over 10 months this weekend!

You can see more wedding pictures and read about our wedding here: My Pleated Wedding Dress, The Wedding Details, Our Catholic Wedding Ceremony, Our Wedding Reception.

Record Breaker

We took Thomas and Nell to dinner at my mom and dad's neighborhood pool this weekend. My mom and dad's pool is the best - nothing like our dinky neighborhood pool. It was Nell's first trip to my old stomping grounds - the place where a healthy summer activity became a passion and a sport that played a large part in making me who I am today: Chipper in the mornings, happiest in water, a bit of an athlete, a girl with "strong" (aka massive) shoulders and upper arms, and self confidence in a swimsuit even though I've never been and never will be swimsuit model material.

Nell donned a swim suit for photo opportunities. 

But anyway, as we were driving down to my mom and dad's, we were talking I was lecturing about how swim team will be a requirement for Tom and Nell in the summers. We got to talking about the upcoming olympics and Missy Franklin and Michael Phelps. Mr. B asked me what my PR in the 400 Meter Freestyle (my best event in summer league - 500 yard freestyle was my strongest high school event) was.

Me: Umm, I think I was in the 5:10s? I don't remember. We would be able to check the record board tonight to find out except that whatever idiot was in charge of club records filed my 15-18 age group record in the 13-14 age group, and a girl that I taught to swim freaking beat it as a 13 year old. Can you believe that? She'd still be flopping around in the shallow end with water wings on if it weren't for me and she had the audacity to break my record? I should request that they reinstate my record in the correct age group.

Mr. B: Em, I hate to break this to you...but if that girl beat your 18 year old PR at 13, she probably blew your PR out of the water when she was 18.

For the record? That same swimmer totally holds a new record in the 15-18 age group. I've been obliterated from our summer league record board. My sister who also swam all 13 years she was eligible and went on to coach and guard at the pool has also been obliterated from the record board. My brother who hated swim team and quit as soon as my mom made swim team optional (high school), however? Still up there. 

What's In A Name?

I've always loved baby names. When I was in elementary school (okay, I continued this ridiculousness into middle school high school college, don't judge me), I would keep a 5x7 note card of my "claimed" future children's names in my mom's recipe file. While Caroline cooked dinner, I would write down all the names I didn't want my brother or sister to use when they had kids so that I could have them for my own children (selfish much?). None of the names I claimed as a 9 15 22 year old were even names we considered for actual McKiddles (mostly because Mr. B didn't like any of them. Someone should have told young Emily the husband gets a say in naming children, too), but that's beside the point: if I could make a living researching baby names (and giving people my unsolicited opinions on names), I'd be all over it.



I like names that are family oriented: I like our kids to be connected to the generations before them, to be a part of a much bigger history. For boys, I want the name to sound strong and powerful when announced over a high school stadium loudspeaker, be a classic Irish Catholic boy's name, and sound dignified and respectable in the workforce in a few decades. For girls? I still like classic, family names, don't want them to be overly frilly because McKevitt girls will be encouraged to play sports as well, want them to work well for a kid and an adult, and want them to look elegant on a wedding invitation in several decades. 
Nell's name was jokingly a part of our marriage contract - I told Mr. B that I would take McKevitt as my last name - not that I ever intended not to take it, but I figured I'd give it a shot - if we could name our first daughter Nell to honor my maiden name - McDonnell. I loved that it's a real, established name but not overly used (there were only 32 Nells born in the United States last year), and the connection to my maiden name won me over. With a short and simple first name, I wanted a multi-syllabic middle name and liked the sounds of Caroline and Madeline with Nell, and Caroline was the obvious front runner because of my mom.  So Nell Caroline it was for our first daughter.
With our girl's name decided upon since we were engaged, I've always noticed other Nells - when they pop up I take note. When Mr. B, Thomas and I were in Portland last summer, we were walking around the city and I happened to look down at the cement as we passed a shop and engraved in the cement was: "Tom + Nell". I made Mr. B stop to look and he asked me if I wanted to take a picture of it - I said "No, that would be ridiculous - I'm not pregnant and who wants a picture of cement?" and we kept walking.  Just over 9 months later, we had our own Tom and Nell. I wish I'd taken that picture now. 
And with Thomas Kirby and Nell Caroline, we've exhausted the list of baby names Mr. B and I agree on. So should we have a third child, it'll be a long 9 months of naming debates.  Do you have criteria for naming (real or hypothetical) babies? 
PS - I'm hoping to have Nell's nursery done this week so that I can post it next week and have a few other projects in the works - I promise not to dwell on family posts forever, but bear with me while we get things settled around here :)

Thomas's 2nd Birthday (and Father's Day)

Thomas turned 2 on Father's Day - I had always planned to keep the 2nd birthday limited to immediate family (Mr. B's and my parents and our siblings) because at the age of two, I feel like big birthdays and lots of presents to open can be overwhelming, and the important thing is to have the day recognized and some good pictures. Then when we found out we'd be having baby #2 the same week of T's 2nd birthday, that plan made even more sense. But newborn at home or not, my favorite little guy needed to celebrate his birthday, so we did just that with a loosely golf themed small (or as small as you can get when you combine two Irish Catholic families) family barbecue. We honestly just grilled burgers and hot dogs - a Mr. B task - and bought chips. My mom brought the cupcakes and B's mom brought a pasta salad and that was the name of the game. 
Before Nell was born, I designed, printed and cut the Happy Birthday Thomas banner - knowing we'd use it regardless of whenever and in whatever fashion we celebrated and that it was more likely to get done if I did it pre-baby. I filled our hurricane with golf balls that Mr. B had in the garage and my mom put together our favorite family recipe cupcakes, and we used frosting to "glue" golf balls onto colorful tees. Simple did it for this "party". 

Mr. Thomas was spoiled rotten with birthday gifts - great books, blocks, a tool bench, pool toys, and lots of sports equipment for our sports addict. He was completely thrilled and completely overstimulated - but he now has lots to keep him busy this summer.

The next morning was Father's Day and Tom's real birthday, and as it was also my last day with Mr. B home to help out, I insisted that he sleep in so that I could attempt to do mornings with both kids. And Nell cooperated so well that we even got pancakes made for my two favorite boys (the idea for Thomas's 2 shaped pancake was 100% stolen from Leah's birthday tradition with Isaac).

Thomas loves numbers and letters - we have to stop and discuss pretty much every letter and number we see while we're out and about - so he was pretty dang excited about having food shaped like a 2. I'm going to have to figure out how to make vegetables into letters and numbers.

After breakfast, we headed to the pool where Nell and I parked under the pergola in the shade and took pictures of the boys we were celebrating that day.

 And we spent the rest of the day doing what T and B love most - watching golf (poor Jim Furyk) and playing sports.

I cannot believe I have a two year old. I cannot believe how lucky I was to meet and marry Mr. B - a man adores his wife and children above all else. It couldn't have been more perfect to celebrate both of my boys together this weekend - they make my heart swell.

Meet Nell

We are thrilled to announce the arrival of Nell Caroline McKevitt. She came into the world at 7:47 pm on June 11th - her due date and Casco's 5th birthday. Your punctuality is appreciated, Miss Nell!

We are all doing well and cherishing the early moments with our sweet baby girl, I'm recovering well from a successful VBAC and thankful every second for Mr. B's amazing support and constant love. Thomas is very sweet when he comes to visit, but mostly interested in turning all the lights on and off in the hospital room and the puzzle that Baby Nell gave to him.  We'll see how the transition goes when we are all back at home.

I'll be back to blogging and real life living soon, but for now, I wanted to introduce you all to our sweet Nell Caroline. I'm smitten.

Little Things

I've been known to take for granted the breathtaking views that living in Colorado affords us almost daily. There's a hill that I come over when I'm driving home most days, and usually the only thing on my mind is "I can see our house, almost there". But the other day, the lighting was perfect and highlighted the Boulder Flatirons with the Rocky Mountains behind them, and the colorful homes in our neighborhood surrounded by open space on my right, and I paused to take in the beauty of this state and town we live in. Doesn't get much better than this!

 

 



Meet Me In Chicago

After they met last summer, I was a little bit jealous of Kim and Shannon's blog turned real-life friendship. Okay, a lot jealous. So when they invited me to meet-up this coming Fall, I was all about it. We picked Chicago - pretty much half-way for me and Shannon and not far from Kim - as our location. And then I got knocked-up. And Kim got knocked-up. So we moved our meet-up to the Spring and told Shannon she needed to be ready to drink for 3.

And the weekend? Fabulous. Beyond fabulous. These girls did not disappoint. I haven't laughed so hard in months and we didn't run out of things to talk about.

Kim picked Shannon and me up at the airports. That's right, airports. Because we like to make a girl's life as complicated as possible, we flew in and out of different airports within minutes of each other. Kim's a rockstar.  Then we headed into downtown Chicago to check into our hotel and walk, eat, shop, walk, eat, shop, repeat.

The first night we saw a Second City show, which was hilarious.

We ate brunch at Rick Bayless' Frontera Grill on Saturday, then booked it to Millennium Park to take pictures of ourselves in the Bean. My life goal accomplished.

Of note, apparently khaki trench coats are the way to go this season. Kim was very much in style and fit in with the cool girls in Chicago. 

I was big on wanting to do something architectural, and we decided on a boat tour. But the Architectural boat tour I booked? Not so much on the architecture. And freaking freezing. Lesson learned: go with the actual Architectural society tour, and opt for a cruise that doesn't take place on a speedboat in April. Also? Probably not a great idea to ask snarky questions when boarding the boat while 31 weeks pregnant unless you want to be given the 3rd degree on whether you should really be taking a boat tour. Listen buddy, my OB let me fly, I can take a 60 minute cruise. Mmmkay?

But terrible jokes from the guide and frigid weather aside, we did get a good view of the city from Lake Michigan on the tour, so that was fun.

And we capped off our last night in the Windy City with a late night City view from the top of the Willis (Sears) Tower.

I loved Chicago - I'd never been (other than driving or flying through) before this trip, and I can't wait to go back. But mostly I loved these girls - we were made for each other.

Thanks for a fabulous weekend, gals.

Pinspiration...Depending on Who You Ask

I repined this picture via Sarah on Pinterest last night and showed it to Mr. B.

Source: houseofturquoise.com via Emily on Pinterest

Me: This would be PERFECT for our office/playroom.B: Looks nice.
[30 minutes later.]
Me: Seriously, this wouldn't be that hard. Basic desks on the far wall with some storage, an art and puzzle table for Thomas in the middle, a cute little window seat under the window for toy storage and lots of floor space for playing.B: [Pointing at the black writer's desk and leaning bookshelves that we currently have in our office] What would we do with these? Me: Craigslist?B: I hate Pinterest. Worst invention ever.

Random Ramblings

I have so much happening house-wise right now, but no pictures to share yet...so let's ramble today, okay?

• You may have heard that the Broncos signed Peyton Manning. Or you may have missed that news...maybe it wasn't shoved down the throats of America as much as it was the throats of Colorado residents? I'm not thrilled. Not that I dislike Peyton Manning - I always liked the Colts because of him, but I just don't understand why we'd pay 96 Million over 5 years for a 36 year old quarterback who just missed an entire season due to injury and multiple neck surgeries. Especially when we have a young quarterback with potential who led us to the playoffs for the first time in 6 years after being named starter partway through the season.  And now Tebow will likely be traded, and after he named his dog Bronco and everything. Mr. B tells me this is why I'm not making business decisions for professional sports teams, because I'd keep everyone who named a pet after the team. Sure, honey, that's why I'm not making business decisions for the Denver Broncos. But anyway, John Elway and I are fighting...I'm sure he cares.

• Thomas's new room is truly almost done. The big things are done - I finished the Roman Shades over the weekend, the furniture's in, all I need is the decorative touches - then I'll share pictures of the whole room. I love it.


• McKiddle #2's room is a work in progress - in my head, since I refuse to make it a new baby's room until Thomas is officially and happily in his new, bigger room. I had originally thought I'd just tweak the room when the baby's born if it's a girl and leave it as is if we have another sweet boy (I have absolutely no inkling one way or the other this time), but I couldn't pass up an opportunity to redecorate, so that reasonable plan's out the window and we'll start working on the nursery in April after Thomas is officially moved.


• All of our cooler weather seeds are planted - Mr. B ended up building up the garden into a raised bed this year. I'm excited to see what grows, because I know that it's not all going to.


• I made these Pizza Rolls for a neighborhood get together on Saturday, and they were a huge hit - with adults and kids alike. I'm always hunting for good appetizers that aren't chips and dip to take to parties or have out when we have friends over, and these will happen again.        

Source: the-girl-who-ate-everything.com via Emily on Pinterest

• I also made OMG Chicken last week (using 1/2 cup of plain greek yogurt in lieu of mayo) and it was so dang good and so easy. I love simple, basic meals that taste good.

Source: theenchantedcook.blogspot.com via Emily on Pinterest

• I loved all of your envelope system budget questions last week - I tried to answer all the questions in the comments, and when I had a chance click over to answer them specifically on your blog if they were linked. So if you asked a question, check the comments from last week's post, and let me know if you have any other questions. I'm far from a budget expert (and fall off the wagon, too!), but with that disclaimer out there, I'm a budget nerd and love talking about it. 

Making a Difference in the World

Mr. B was home sick for 4 days three weeks ago, and during that time I said a lot of "Thomas, we need to  practice using our inside voices because daddy is sleeping". So now, anytime Mr. B - or anyone, for that matter - is not in Thomas's direct line of sight, they're sleeping. Every morning: "Shhh. Dada sleeping", or if he can't find his beloved Corduroy, "Cor-roy sleeping", etc. So, I've been working on that issue so that Thomas doesn't think that lying in bed is an acceptable way to spend one's day, so now we have a lot of "Dada's at work today, not sleeping". So now, in T's mind, everyone's at work...or sleeping.

Here's today's conversation:

T: Dada work?

Me: Yep, Daddy's at work. He's working hard to make sure that when people build new houses and buildings that there's enough electricity for them."

T: (Blank stare, then) Yeah! Papa (my dad, T's Grandpa) work?

Me: Yep, Papa's at work. He's working hard to make sure that everyone's wills and estates are in order. 

T: Yeah! Gigi (my mom, T's Grandma) work?

Me: Yes, Gigi's making sure that all the kids at school are healthy.

T: Yeah. Kate work?

Me: Yes, Auntie Kate's teaching all the kids science and math.

T: Yeah. Mama work?

Me: Yep, Mama works.

T: Puzzles.

Me: (Pause while I try to figure out if my job provides any social good...meh, not really). Yes, I love doing puzzles with you. But I also make people's websites easy for Google to find, and tell them why they should use social media for their businesses.

T: (Blank stare). Nooooooooo. Puzzles.

Yep, kid. Those puzzles are what's funding your 529. You've got it.

Cheap Retail Therapy

I've been kind of crabby about my wardrobe lately. And my attitude is pissing me off because my pet peeve is complaining (and me complaining to just myself counts) pregnant women. So I had a heart to heart with myself to figure out what the problem was and get me out of this funk. The problem is two fold: maternity clothes aren't made to fit me (I have a boy shape - ribs, waist, hips and butt are all pretty much equal, no curves, and maternity pants are made to be held up by hips and butts, not those expanding bands), and I have spring fever and am sick of snow on the ground and jackets and jeans (plus, as soon as we have warmer weather, I can wear non-maternity skirts and solve problem number 1).


So, while I can't do a whole lot about maternity pants falling off of me, I realized I can tackle the spring fever but not spring wardrobe problem - accessories don't depend on hips and weather, right? For my handbag, I've carried a Longchamp Le Pliage tote for three years, but the navy and brown I own weren't doing much for my Spring Fever, and I wanted a more structured bag. 
I turned to Dooney & Bourke for my inspiration, and decided I wanted a bright satchel. I've been known to splurge on a classic handbag from very rare time to very rare time, but I'd rather not spend $400 on a bag that's likely to be out of style come June, so I took a birthday gift card I was given to Charming Charlie and went in search of the colorful, structured bag I decided would solve my crabbiness. And there it was, waiting for me as I walked through the door: Yellow, structured, big enough for a diaper and wipes when I don't need the full diaper bag, and 50% off at $19.98, I can toss it guiltlessly when it falls apart in a few months. I threw in a pretty sunglasses case to protect my beloved Ray-Bans, paid for everything with my gift card, and was feeling infinitely brighter as I walked out of the store.

(Sorry about the nighttime iPhone pic, it's been a week technology wise)
A little retail therapy goes a long way sometimes for self-mandated attitude adjustments.  Meanwhile, I'm living in yoga pants and my non-maternity jeans and hoping they button long enough to get me to my spring skirts. 

Random Thoughts

1) Thomas's room is almost done. I was panicking in December because I couldn't find anything in real life that worked with the vision in my head. And then on December 27th, I found the perfect bed (at a steal!) and the room came together in less than a month. Either Caroline or Mr. B are going to strip and redo an old dresser (my pediatric nurse mom and my protective husband are adamant followers of the no painting - and therefore no furniture stripping - rule during pregnancy. I hate not being involved, though), and then I'm going to figure out how to make some real (not mini-blind) roman shades (hopefully Caroline will help with that, too). Then it's just a few touches and I'll share the room!

2) Speaking of T's bed, I had budgeted $200 for his twin mattress and box spring. We were driving home from church on a Sunday when my phone buzzed with a Groupon alert "$200 to spend on a mattress at Mattress Firm for $50". B and I purchased our bed three years ago from Mattress Firm and have loved it - and had a great experience with our local store, so I dropped the boys at home, ran to the store to see if they had a twin bed that was comfortable and would be under - or around $200. Found an awesome one, bought the Groupon, dragged B and T back to the store and we had his mattress on his bed (though we're not forcing him from the crib, I just want everything ready when he is) that day. I love when I "save" money off of what I budgeted, and "saving" $150 made my day!

3) Our daycare crap is coming to an end - or at least the criminal, legal portion is coming to an end. And sooner than we expected, which is nice in a way. I don't want this event to define our lives. The long, sordid story isn't something I want to recount for all of the world to see - we're trying to move on - but long story short, the daycare providers we trusted with our son's well-being pleaded guilty to reduced counts of child abuse (neglect) and they will be sentenced later this month. There are innocent children involved and their story is not mine to tell, and for that reason this is all I will say on the matter. We're accepting the end of this case and committing to moving on - other than never trusting anyone ever again. Hope Thomas likes the idea of home school and his mom or dad coaching or being present at every single sport and activity he's ever involved in for the rest of his life. Kidding...kind of.

4) I'm feeling especially blessed lately - #3 aside. We have really become a part of our neighborhood community since Thomas was born. Suddenly from our house to the end of the street, there's not a house without a kid. We have built-in playgroup in our alley, and an amazing community of friends who - amazingly - lift each other up and support each other instead of tearing down. Isn't that so rare - especially in moms - these days? We had everyone over for the Super Bowl on Sunday and it was just easy. I love when entertaining is natural.  A year ago (almost to the day) we had a house next door to us that was rented (illegally against our HOA covenants). And now that house is home to not just great neighbors but great friends. I was making a doctor's appointment last month and had to give my address, and as I told her our street name the receptionist said "That sounds like a pleasant place to live." It is and I fall more and more in love everyday.

5) I asked B the other night if he thought we should take a refresher childbirth course. He said, "I don't really care, do you want to?" I said, "Do you remember how to coach childbirth?" B: "He he he hoo." Me: "I don't actually remember you doing that when I was in labor. Did you coach me?" B: "Coach? Em, I was the referee trying to handle your fight with the entire labor and delivery staff over Popsicle flavors, epidurals and c-sections." We'll be delivering at a different hospital with a different doctor, this time. And I'm considering bringing my own Popsicles.

The Infamous Baby Gear Post

As you all know, I'm a self proclaimed minimalist. Our living area is small and open, and I want to keep it neat and tidy. I had a slight panic attack when I found out I was pregnant and declared "There will be no plastic baby gear in my house". Well, that was impractical, but in general we managed to keep the baby gear at bay - and I'd say that Thomas has grown up to be a good kid who can self entertain and socialize, so I don't think we failed miserably by not providing him with constant new things.

There are so many blog babies brewing, and my friend Sarah has been asking for baby product recommendations. I sent her my detailed baby gear spreadsheet, but thought I'd do a quick blog post about our most used gear broken down by age for the first year.

In short, I'd sum up the first year by saying that Months 0 - 6 require some equipment, and months 6 - 12 require less equipment and more learning and developmental toys.

The Whole First Year:
Medela Pump in Style Advanced (PISA) breast pump - Before I returned to work, I was working on getting my milk supply up and also introducing T to a bottle. I pumped the first month after every feeding, and after the first month once a day I threw in a pumping session after he was in bed to build up a freezer stash and make a bottle for Thomas.  Then I went back to work and pumping was Thomas's lifeline during the day. The pump and I were attached at the hip for a long time, and I highly recommend a good pump - especially if you think you'll be returning to work or leaving baby for nights out.

Grilled Cheese appetizer in one hand; chardonnay, clutch and breast pump in the other at a Sorority Sister's Wedding when Thomas was 10 weeks old. I'm super classy.

Carseat - My personal opinion is that you don't need a 30 lb, 30 inch capacity infant carseat - by the time the baby is over 22 (more like 16) pounds, you won't be wanting to carry around an infant carrier. I promise.

For Thomas, we had the BabyTrend FlexLoc (with the 30 pound, 30 inch capacity). 2 years ago, Consumer Reports had it as the #1 carseat, and that ranking has fallen. Here's the story on car seat ratings though - every car seat on the market is safe, the ratings are mostly about  ease of use and fit to vehicle, and sometimes they incorporate things like extra EPS foam, etc. I loved the BabyTrend (so easy to adjust the strap height, though a pain in the a** to replace the cover after washing), but our old car seat played a starring role in the daycare drama, and we won't be reusing it with McKiddle #2, so I'm considering lighter weight options (the Maxi Cosi Mico is my favorite, followed by a plain black Graco Snugride 22) that only go up to a 22 pound weight limit. On a side note - I cannot wait to buy a new car seat and a double stroller - I wrapped so much emotion into that damn car seat from April on, and it's time to move on.


At 11 months we moved Thomas to a convertible - though he would have still fit in his infant carseat. We purchased a Britax Marathon 70 and I adore it - right down to it's Cowmooflage fabric. In all practicality, the Britax Roundabout would have been fine - Thomas will be a freshman in college when he weighs 70 pounds, but I liked the Cowmooflage and the Roundabout didn't come in that fabric. Priorities, people. Priorities. For B's car (where Thomas rides less frequently) and when we air travel, we have a Cosco Scenera - a top rated carseat that costs less than $40 at Walmart, but isn't quite as comfy or easy to install as the Britax. It's perfect for the 2nd car and really lightweight for checking at the airport.



Stroller - I swore I wouldn't be the girl with the 3 strollers that everyone says you end up with. In general, I think travel systems are bulky and kind of a pain - I wanted to avoid that, so we bought the snap n' go, and I intended to buy a good umbrella stroller for 6+ months, but then I wanted a jogger for the trails and running in our neighborhood. So we now have the 3 strollers every mom told me I'd end up with, and I'm currently obsessed with finding the perfect multi-use stroller as a result. Our garage holds:

• Baby Trend Snap N' Go - Handy fort he first 6 weeks, but I only used it for outings a 2 months, preferring the jogger for around the neighborhood. If I'd known about the Baby Jogger City Mini in 2010, I would have bought it without thinking twice and happily had only one stroller.

• Baby Trend Jogging Stroller - I bought this because it was inexpensive (I would have loved a BOB) hoping that we would need a double stroller soon and wanting to double than single. I tolerated it at first as a placeholder before we had two kids, but grew to love it. I highly recommend this stroller if you don't want to spend a mortgage payment on a jogger - and if we decide we want a real jogging stroller with 2 kids (I'm leaning towards an all-terrain that's not technically a jogger), we'll purchase the double version.

• Chicco Umbrella Stroller - This is our stays in the car and travel stroller. I tolerate it but don't love it. It's nice that there's a semi-recline and as far as an umbrella stroller goes, it does the job. But the shoulder straps are short, the crotch strap isn't adjustable, the canopy's a sham and I wouldn't recommend it unless you want to spend $80 on a stroller because it comes in cute colors when you can get the same purpose out of a basic $20 umbrella stroller. But I do love that it's orange, totally worth $60, right? :)

Ergo Organic Baby Carrier - I loved taking walks with Tom attached to me - I liked talking to him and the extra calories I burned didn't hurt either. When Thomas was 4 months, I bought an Ergo to replace the Baby Bjorn we had borrowed. The Bjorn hurt my back, and I'd read about spine development concerns with them and decided if I was buying my own, I'd go a different route than the Baby Bjorn. Love the Ergo - especially the hip carry and the back carry for hiking. We never used a sling for T since we wanted him to nap and sleep in his crib rather than become accustomed to being held to sleep, but I could see myself buying the infant insert for the Ergo or buying a Moby type wrap with #2 for when I need my hands free to play with Thomas while the babe is awake.

 

Sloppy hip carry Ergo wearing in the Washington Dulles Airport.

 B, C and T (asleep in the Ergo) snowshoeing in the Colorado Mountains.

Pack N' Play - We had T sleep in his crib from day one (B and I were very much believers in forming solid sleep patterns from the beginning, knowing that we'd personally be better parents if we had a semblance of good sleep at night), but we used the pack n' play on the first floor so I didn't have to run upstairs for every diaper change. He took a few naps in there, too, in the early days. I love this pack n' play because it has the changing table and bassinet feature, and also has the different levels for the mattress. Plus it was gender neutral - we don't find out the sex of McKiddles before they're born, but if we did I'd stick with gender neutral for big stuff anyway. It's lived on the first floor of our house for 6 months, and we pull it out for travel and guests now.

Months 0 - 3

Onesies - pretty sure Thomas only wore onesies all summer long, but if he hadn't been a summer baby, he would have worn cotton one pieces. I loved Kimono style onesies and union suits - especially that first few weeks - and baby mitten cuffs were a must with scratchy Thomas.

Bouncer. I swear by this bouncer and this bouncer alone. Instead of vibrating, it bounces. T loved it, I loved it, and all of our neighbors have loved it since we retired it when T was 7 months old.

Baby Play Gym - I never would have thought to buy this, but our friends loaned it to us and T loved it. He played on it happily well into the second half of his first year. I feel like any variety of play gym will do.

Months 3 - 6
We continued to use most of the equipment from months 0-3 in months 3-6.

Cotton One Pieces and Onesies with Knit Pants  - I'm controversially anti-adult clothes on babies (I change out of my adult clothes into yoga pants as soon as I can, why would a baby want to wear them?), so T spent the first year of his life in one piece cotton sleep n' play outfits (I liked Old Navy a lot for these for boys- in general they didn't have words on them - because I also don't love words on baby clothes- and they were inexpensive) and onesies and knit pants (loved Carter's for these for boys). I don't love a lot of the baby boy clothes available on the market, so my go-to look (to this day) is solid or subtly striped knits with socks. And I love Hanna Andersson's for day and night.

Boppy - I didn't see the benefits of the Boppy until T was a little bit bigger - then the support while nursing was amazing and I fell in love. I also used the boppy to help him learn to sit up - we had borrowed a bumbo, but I didn't love it and will just got the boppy route with #2 instead of buying our own Bumbo.

Months 6 - 12

Radio Flyer Classic Walker Wagon - This was hands down the best purchase I made in Thomas's first year of life. I paid $10 at a garage sale in our neighborhood when T was 11 months old, but I would have happily paid retail for it and never thought twice about it. We had gross motor concerns with Thomas because of his daycare, and this wagon put all of my concerns at bay. Before I brought this walker home, Thomas was terrified to cruise b/c other walkers were too fast. This is heavy and stable, and gave T the confidence to cruise, and he was walking independently within 2 weeks - before he turned one. It's the sturdiest walker ever, goes slowly enough for new cruisers and is the best thing ever.   We've loaned it to friends and it's had similar effects - getting their kiddos walking in anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. Our physical therapist even went out and bought one for her clients when she saw it at our house - said it was the best walking aide she'd ever seen. He still loves the wagon, and I appreciate that it's attractive and wooden for aesthetics. I will never part with this wagon, and might sing it's praises everywhere I go.

High Chair - I honestly feel like the high chair thing doesn't matter. I was sold on getting a Stokke Tripp Trapp until I saw our friends' using one and realized it was totally impractical for babies and by the time it made sense, Thomas would be sitting in a booster at the table anyway. We used a Fisher Price Healthy Care high chair from months 6 - 12 that our friends loaned us (I pulled it to the table so that T ate his meals with us) - it took up space and screamed "We have a baby", but it was honestly a perfect high chair. And now he's in a Fisher Price booster seat pulled up to the table - we'll use the high chair again for #2 and graduate to a booster at 1, again.

Yoga Mat - When Thomas started moving and sitting to play, I put all of his toys on a yoga mat on our hardwood floors. It gave him a place to move comfortably and a little bit of padding, but rolled up quickly and easily when we needed it out of the way. We also have a large playmat, but this was great for those second 6 months when movement starting but not all over the place.

And for the toys:
Manhattan Toy Classic Skwish - A perfect toy for doctor's appointments and church - mesmerizing and quiet, develops hand-eye coordination, and isn't plastic.

Green Toys My First Stacker - A great fine motor skill toy. I appreciate that it's BPA free and recycled material, I like the colors, and Thomas appreciates that it's fun.

Vtech Move and Crawl Ball - I have the world's greatest Aunt. I was mentioning that I was concerned that at 10 months Thomas wasn't crawling, and she showed up at my house the next day with toys someone had recommended to her that got their child crawling. This was one of them - it enticed Thomas to crawl in his own way, so at least we knew he'd move, and he loved to play with it.

Vtech Sit to Stand Learning Walker - This is not a good walker for new cruisers who aren't balanced on their own yet, but Thomas loved to play with it. It was a good purchase for entertainment, and once he was walking on his own, he enjoyed pushing it around the house. It lives in our basement play area now (I rotate toys to keep the interest alive) and T still goes over to play with it and dance to the music.



Things I wish I had had:
Aden and Anais Swaddling Blankets - They're huge, they're perfect for swaddling, and they're lightweight for a summer baby. Thomas was a champion sleeper - in large part to swaddling, and as he grew, swaddling became more difficult. We received SO many blankets, but none did the job like these do- I just wish I'd had my own.


Things we didn't use or won't use again:
Swing - This is one of those things your kid will either love or hate. Luckily we borrowed our swing, because Thomas didn't care for it. I will say, it sounds like a lot of parents who love the swing use it for naps, but since that wasn't the route we wanted to go, we didn't use it for that purpose, so we may not know the magic of the swing if you have a baby who does like or want to be swung to sleep.

Exersaucer/Jumperoo - We own the jumperoo and borrowed the exersaucer, so we won't be not using them in the future, but I wouldn't think I HAD to have one if we didn't have access to them. T couldn't reach the floor in his Jumperoo until he was about 10 months old, and the exersaucer entertained him long enough for me to throw in a load of laundry if necessary. We used one or the other every few days for about 10 minutes, but we spent most of Thomas's awake time working on floor time.

Bumbo - We used it, but I don't think I'll miss it round 2. I'd rather put T on a playmat than sitting in the Bumbo, and I thought the Boppy pillow did a better job of teaching him to use his core to sit. That's my totally unprofessional opinion on baby sitting development.


Note - I was not compensated for any of these recommendations, they're just what we used. Also, Amazon affiliate links aren't allowed for Colorado websites, so you can click away to your heart's content.