Here I am posting a recipe the day after a heated battle breaks out here about my new job - which apparently translated to me not working (???) at all and putting my family before my career and submitting to a "degrading religion" (please hold while I pop my birth control pill...) for an Anonymous commentor. I could sum this whole post up like this: Respect everyone. Allow everyone to make the choice that they need to make for their individual happiness. Make this stuffing recipe (if you want, have the time or desire, etc etc). And for crying out loud, if you don't like to hear about decorating, cooking and being a wife, this blog probably isn't your best choice of reading material.
But I've never been one not to talk...ask my first grade teacher. So I'll say this: It's important to me at this point in my life to remain working in some capacity - I've already explained all of this. The field of Internet Marketing changes daily (did you know that Google changed their local search results algorithm two days ago and we're awaiting changes to the algorithm to incorporate social media even more into search engine results?) and taking 5 years completely off to raise a kid doesn't work well in that field. But that is not to say that I won't choose to stay at home fulltime at some point. Or that I won't go back to a fulltime position at some point. And I fully respect the decisions each person makes for themselves regarding working and raising a family. I love my family. I love my career. I love my alone time. I love date nights with my husband. And dammit, I love cooking a really good meal sometimes. And I think that every person - female or male - should be entitled to make the choices that are right for them without feeling the need to defend themselves to people who choose differently. I am not a feminist, I believe in treating everyone with respect, learning from our mistakes and doing the best we can for our circumstances.
Mr. B and I make decisions daily about what is best for ourselves, our relationship and our family. I happen to be passionate about my house - I love decorating, cooking and cleaning. I love hanging out with Thomas. I love shopping with my girlfriends. I also love beating boys at beer pong, playing sports, and watching football. And Mr. B? He's a cleaning machine, the only grocery shopper in our family, a fabulous cook and the world's greatest and most involved dad. I couldn't ask for a better partner in life - someone who appreciates me as an individual, a friend, a daughter, a sister (and sister-in-law to my favorite person in the entire world and go-to blog defender) a wife AND a mother.
But what do I know? I'm just a girl who made a choice to leave a job that wasn't fulfilling for one that challenges me daily and that I love that happens to allow me to spend two extra days a week with this baby boy whom I adore. Let's get back to stuffing, something I know about.
I jest - I know nothing about stuffing. This could be a total failure of a week. But I'm going to try this recipe. What about you guys? Will you be making stuffing this weekend?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go put on my high heels and lipstick so that I can vacuum and iron Mr. B's socks to his liking.
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I am soo glad I missed this when it went down! As it happens, I consider myself a feminist in that I believe women and men should be able to be equal in the workplace. Women should be able to work if they choose and they should be paid as much as man when they do the same job. BUT, I think all women should have a choice, and really, I think that's what feminism should be about - empowering women to make whichever choice is best for them. For me, the right choice is to stay home; it's what I want and I should be able to do that if it works for my family without criticism. For some of my friends, the right choice is to work. Should women be able to work and raise children? Yes. Should they be criticized if they choose not to? No. Frankly, the whole point of feminism was to liberate women from being pushed into a box where they couldn't work, so why should we reverse that so that women are now pushed into a box where they can only work?
ReplyDeleteObviously, this makes me crazy. I will get off my soapbox and go vacuum and make stuffing.
a perfect post on imperfect.
ReplyDelete:-) Who knew your blog could spark such drama! For the record, I'm glad you get to do what you love, while taking care of the boy you love, and you are all happy. :-)
ReplyDeleteI love this response, Emily. And, don't think Anon doesn't still burn me up, because she does. But you are a better person than her.
ReplyDeleteEmma and I are giving you a standing ovation over here at the RC McD house! So well put, you would think you were college educated or something? :)
ReplyDeleteI just want to say that I think you made the absolutely perfect decision with your job and everything you do with Tommy and your family. I work in Internet Marketing and I would do the same thing if ever given the opportunity. Anon needs to open her eyes and realize that part of being a strong, proud woman is doing exactly what you enjoy doing. It's narrow-minded people like her that make the rest of us woman look bad.
ReplyDeleteEmily! My goodness, I can't even believe that your post about such an amazing opportunity created such drama. I would jump if I were offered the same opportunity that you have, as would many other career women.
ReplyDeleteAs a few others have said, the ultimate empowerment is being able to choose career, family/home, or BOTH! It doesn't have to be so black and white. Like I say on my blog, we can make our cake and eat it, too!
Finally, I commend you for being brave and sharing your personal stories on your blog. Know that there are many people out there who may never comment but will be helped or find inspiration in what you share.
xo,
- e
I think that same "Anonymous" poster came out of the woodwork when I blogged about deciding to stay home. I'll say the same thing now as I said then--they idea that women "must" work is just as damaging to women collectively as the idea that they "must" stay home. It's the freedom to have some choice in the matter to do what feels right to us that's important.
ReplyDeleteAlthough it is super ironic that it's even being addressed, because you are STILL WORKING.
Anyway, I'm really happy for you that you were able to figure out a situation that worked for you!
Wow, Emily. I have no idea how you attract the crazies. Maybe you should send them over to my blog so their head can explode over my wearing a veil every Sunday to Catholic church and my HUSBAND staying home to be the homemaker in our family.
ReplyDeleteI loved your response. You are Woman! :)
Wow the internet is a scary place. Why do people think they can say things to random people that they would never have the guts to say to someones face? I admire you for standing up for yourself, your beliefs, your religion (this is neither the time nor the place but I can think of many other religions a little more oppressive to women).
ReplyDeleteThanks for standing up for women with careers, families, faith, and dignity.
I agree with every single thing in this post except that I think you are a feminist. Feminism isn't about raising women above men--it's about equality, and everyone, male and female, being able to make the choices that are right for them and their family. Which is exactly what you've done--and I'm so happy for you, and proud of how you've made it work.
ReplyDeleteHoly balls - I missed all of that nonsense! The inspiration photo for your office is gorgeous! I can't wait to see what you come up with.
ReplyDeleteNow, what can I make for dinner this weekend that will go well with stuffing? Hmmm
Love and blessings from an old curmudgeon to Dear Emily, Mr B and Thomas. You are doing fine. The next 25 years are, by definition, going to be a roller coaster balancing act....and then you will be old like me! Each day...just make sure the kids are with good people....because they NEED to expand their village beyond mom and dad, make time for yourself and your marriage. Sometimes all three will fall short but pursue the balancing act with faith, hope, and love. You can do it! Many of us have survived countless days of "imbalance" but over the long haul, as I look back....it was so much more balanced than I ever thought! Tell anonymous (the other anonymous) to stuff it! :-)
ReplyDeleteCan you leave Thomas with extended family some of the time?
Em! You are inspiring! Great post, girl! : )
ReplyDeleteGeez....such drama! Anonymous must live in a sad, lonely world where the only thing they can do is pick on other people for no apparent reason. Blogger has this great box you can check for no anonymous comments. It's awesome! ;)
ReplyDeleteAs for the stuffing, that recipe looks yummy! My favorite is this:
http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/classic-stuffing
We usually leave out the pecans and cherries (they are tasty though!). Tastes best with fresh herbs too. :)
you tell em! You get to choose, it's your life!
ReplyDeleteHappy Friday!
Great post - congratulations to you on your choices and your new job. Don't let someone who obviously cannot/will not make those same choices make you feel bad. I am not a usual commenter, but love your blog, becuase it seems as though you have a good balance in your life - something I strive for as well.
ReplyDeleteGood response. Thanks for being so honest and open on your blog. I love reading it.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are doing the best for your family and that of course is the only thing you can do. :)
amen. and honestly, i personally think that women's rights is all about having choices. it's awesome that you were able to make the right one for your family. i will not be making stuffing but i will be making rice balls, which we make on thanksgiving. :)
ReplyDeleteYou go!! A great response. Your choice is to do the right thing for you.
ReplyDeleteI the mom to an almost-five-month-old. I went back to work. I wouldn't say I love my job but I know that for me working is the right choice, otherwise I would be a very unlikable mom and spouse. My time away makes me a better, more patient, more attentive person when I am home.
Whoa! I had no idea what you were referring to, so I went back to read the comments...my jaw dropped! I'm shocked, angered and saddened by A's rudeness. You've had a lot of major life changes in the past 6 months, with many big decisions and you seem to have handled them all gracefully. You've done what you needed for your family and life- that's what matters. This post is thoughtfully, and clearly written- great job!
ReplyDeleteUnbelievable. I never would have thought a post like your last one could have sparked drama. Wow. Your response was perfect, bravo!
ReplyDeleteI think what irks me most about the whole thing was that Anonymous did it anonymously. If you can't stand behind your opinion you don't really have conviction, do you? And why read your blog if they are so obviously offended by it?
OH, girl, you are awesome. I love it. Good for you for sticking to being yourself. It's the best thing you can do! I so admire you for working with a newborn...it is exactly what I plan to do and it is nice to see someone my age who also has the same ambitions and family values.
ReplyDeleteWow. You handled this situation well. I probably would have had a responses littered with F-bombs. Congratulations on having class and on your new career adventures. You really CAN have it all.
ReplyDelete